Many of the surrogates we work with in Hawaii are military spouses. The military community is full of people who are drawn to serving others, and military spouse surrogacy fits that spirit well. It also comes with questions about PCS moves, deployments and TRICARE. Here are the ten myths we hear most often, and the facts behind them.
Military Spouse Surrogacy: 10 Common Myths
1. “I can’t relocate.”
A PCS move does not have to end your journey. We have helped surrogates through it all, from insurance changes and legal protections to finding a new OB/GYN after a move.
2. “My spouse is deployed.”
Many military spouses carry while their spouse is deployed. Your spouse does not need to be home with you, but they do need to support the journey and sign the surrogacy agreement. We can arrange a digital notary for contract signatures.
3. “I have to donate my eggs.”
No. In gestational surrogacy, the embryo is created with the eggs and sperm of the intended parents or donors, then transferred to your uterus. You have no genetic connection to the baby.
4. “My tubes are tied.”
That is not a problem. Tubal ligation blocks the fallopian tubes so an egg and sperm cannot meet, but it does not affect your uterus. You can still receive an embryo transfer and carry a baby to term.
5. “I can’t afford it.”
You never pay to be a surrogate. Costs from clinic bills to delivery, and even maternity clothes, are paid by the intended parents and written into your surrogacy agreement before anything begins.
6. “TRICARE is not surrogacy-friendly.”
Insurance is reviewed case by case. If your current coverage will not cover a surrogate pregnancy, the intended parents pay for a surrogacy-friendly policy, and we arrange it. You keep TRICARE for everything else.
7. “I don’t get to choose the intended parents.”
You do. Once you are approved, you build a matching profile and see intended parent profiles. You can agree to a match meeting or ask to see other families, and nothing moves forward until everyone agrees.
8. “I have to do whatever the intended parents ask.”
You have your own attorney to review your surrogacy agreement. It spells out how every part of the journey will be handled, and it is only signed once you and the intended parents are comfortable with the terms.
9. “My military family won’t be supportive.”
“It takes a village” applies here too. Many of our surrogates have gone on to refer friends from their military community once they saw how rewarding the journey can be.
10. “I can’t afford childcare or lost income if I’m on bedrest.”
These costs are covered by the intended parents and written into your agreement, along with other protections for you and your family.
Ready to Learn More?
If you are a military spouse on Oahu thinking about surrogacy, we would love to hear from you. Applying takes a few minutes and there is no commitment. Our post on surrogate requirements in Hawaii covers who can apply.
Questions? Reach Kaci Moore, our Recruitment and Intake Manager, at kaci@hawaiisurrogacy.com.